The Pitfalls of Chasing Validation from Others

Chasing validation from others can lead to a never-ending cycle of disappointment for several reasons:

1. Dependence on External Approval: When you seek validation from others, you’re essentially placing your self-worth in their hands. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and self-doubt, as your self-worth becomes dependent on how others see you or their acceptance of you. If you’re dependent on what other people think of you, you give out your power to them and become dependent on outside sources for your validation, chasing something you have no control over.
2. Unrealistic Expectations: Often, we overestimate the good things that might happen when we first start a task, leading to disappointment when reality doesn’t meet our expectations. Your expectations and hopes for others may be too high for the situation at hand, leading to disappointment when these expectations are not met.
3. Insecurity and Self-Doubt: “Service” motivated by a desire for external validation only leads to insecurity and the feeling of never being good enough. A lack of self-confidence can lead to doubting ourselves, our abilities, and our judgment, leading to a decline in self-esteem.
4. Loss of Authenticity: When you’re constantly seeking validation, you might make choices and decisions based on what you think others want from you and not on your own values and beliefs. This can lead to a loss of authenticity, as you become too focused on the opinions of those around you instead of listening to your heart.
5. Emotional Instability: When you live your life based on a force outside of your control (the opinions of others), you give up your right to take action, attract mutual, available relationships, and find meaning within. This can lead to emotional instability and a sense of being emotionally “dead” until resurrected through the validation of a toxic person.

In summary, chasing validation from others can lead to a never-ending cycle of disappointment because it creates dependence on external approval, sets up unrealistic expectations, fosters insecurity and self-doubt, leads to a loss of authenticity, and results in emotional instability. It’s healthier to seek self-validation and maintain a strong sense of self-worth that is independent of others’ opinions.